R is for Room Moms... and Dads

This year, for the first time in 14 years, I was not a room mom for any of my children’s classes, nor was I involved with the PTA in any capacity.  At first I felt uneasy.  I found myself sitting around, enjoying breakfast, quietly sipping coffee.  I worked on projects I hadn't remembered ever planning.  Soon uneasy became don't ever ask me to be a room mom again. I went back to school, earned a few new clients, and even found myself with a little extra money (partly from the savings of not being a room mom).  My daughter's class, however, had not just one but two amazing room moms.  Today I sent them this little gift to show my appreciation.  I hope you'll be inspired to send something to your room parent too. 

Room parents, where to begin?  The most coveted school volunteer job of all.  Our esteemed room parents spend many a night organizing, e-mailing, preparing crafts, filling goody bags, posting photos, and on and on.  The class roster alone is a two hour project, not to mention the end of year class CD, complete with music, graphics and cute subtitles.  That baby takes at least two weeks to produce.  That’s not counting the number of times one is present (camera in tow) to record class activities, ceremonies and all the holidays in between; nor the time spent counting the photos to make sure each child is represented equally.  The result of this effort is a timeless memory of which 30 copies must now be made.  Did I say two weeks?  Make that fourteen!

These parents are the lucky ones running all over town trying to find 25 like items (for whatever the occasion happens to be) making sure that they are all exactly alike so as to not upset any of the kids.  Never mind her own kid; because should she find only 24 items, or if that 25th item means buying another dozen, this parent's child is usually the one expected to understand why he/she is not getting one.

Typically room parents are also the chosen ones to ride field trip buses.  The wind blowing in their hair with  fifty or so exuberant children in poorly maintained, umpteen year old buses, devoid of shock absorbers, seat belts and air conditioning.  They may even experience the added joy of angry looks from parents to whom this honor was not bestowed.

They are also the class decorators... for every class event and holiday, especially Thanksgiving, the class must be decorated, complete with the most uniquely thought out work of art design for the class door... after all, you wouldn't want the room parent next to you to design a prettier door than yours!
  

Oh! You should take note that it is this room parent who usually ends up providing the turkey for the Thanksgiving feast.  Most parents avoid that line on the sign up sheet like the plague, while fighting over the line that says “paper goods” or “plastic ware.”  But not the room parent.

They are also professional bill collectors.  Trust me, I've been there.  The amount of effort it sometimes takes to collect $2 from a parent is astounding.  How about the pedantic emails they receive from parents who find this request a complete assault on the state of their finances?  or from the school principal who wants to see you as she has been copied on the email "I am embarrassed to ask you to meet with me Mrs. Blanco, but it is a matter of written record now and I must jot down your thoughts."  So in addition to antagonizing possibly the one person who is bringing a glimmer of sunshine to your child's classroom, you have now wasted a good hour of the principal's time and annoyed her to the point where your child will be placed in the worst possible classroom next year... brilliant!  

I actually had a parent threaten to sue me once because after not receiving $2 for her child's share of the pizza lunch, nor any response to my requests, I dared call to ask about it.  Oh, and the parent who stated that not only wouldn't she contribute $10 toward the year end beach bucket (filled with a book, water toys, a personalized t-shirt, and the infamous class CD) but that should her child be excluded from receiving said items, she would consider it discrimination.  She also mentioned that I certainly should not expect $5 from her for the year end teacher gift... because she herself was a teacher and she "never got anything from a student!"... well gee, I wonder why!  

Did I mention that room moms and dads do all of this willingly?  Perfectly intelligent, educated moms and dads.  Some of whom I grant you are stay-at-home parents, but many are professionals, even working single parents, who take time out of their busy lives.  

So what's in it for them? Well, possibly the warmth of the one child who looks up as you finish a craft activity and says "this is the best day I've ever had"; or perhaps the feeling you get when a child you'd never met before the school year comfortably holds your hand while walking about the zoo.  Perhaps it's the joy of sharing your child's school experience as closely as possible; or the opportunity of getting to know the educators and the other students that touch your children's lives.  I often feel badly for unknowing, inexperienced, and/or uninvolved parents who only have one child because they don't get a do-over.  Poof, you blink, and the moment is gone.  

The most willing room parents are those who know that on the first day of middle school the child who once jumped up and down at the sight of you at her classroom door, will now demand to be promptly ejected from your car without so much as a goodbye (much less a goodbye kiss).  "Please mom" she will implore "this year don't be one of those parents who goes on middle school field trips"; and suddenly you are wishing to be on that old, bumpy, loud school bus emanating the magic of childhood.

So do yourself a favor, show up.  Try to be a room parent if you can.  If you can't, then try as hard as you can to participate in class activities when asked.  The next time your room parent asks you to be there or to bring something, please respond and do it quickly.  If you can't, say you can't.  If you can, meet the deadline.  Don't leave them waiting, and don't make them send you more than one email.  They are already pouring their time, energy, and many times financial resources to dote on YOUR kids.  Get with the program.  Appreciate your room parents.  It doesn't take all that much.

The frame pictured above didn’t cost a dime.  I had two old frames and a can of paint which I put to good use.  I was inspired by this post at Drab to Fab.  Their wording was more geared towards teachers, and so I changed it to fit our room moms.  I hope they'll like it.  In fact, I hope they'll cry. I hope that one day after they drop their child off at middle school, they go back to their office, look at it on their desk, and feel the warmth of that little boy's hand and that wondrous day spent at the zoo.